Santa gives but he also takes away

Santa is watching ... and judging.

Friends with school-aged kids have told me that Santa is worth milking for all he is worth. Apparently nothing gets your toddler to behave like the threat that Santa is always watching and may decide at the drop of a hat to cancel Christmas at your house. For a generous man kids seem to believe he is also quite judgey.

(When you think about it, it sends a pretty bad message - generosity comes with conditions and all that. Best not to think about it then!)

But I have just been let in on another secret -- Santa also takes stuff away!

One family I know is spreading the word that Santa is collecting dummies this year. They plan to make a big deal of leaving the dummies under the tree and the ever-helpful North Polian will whisk them away.

At another house he is collecting bottles (not the beer kind) and I'm now sure that he is collecting all manner of objects across the country.

Stickybeak is a little too young to try this on this year but I will be keeping this knowledge up my sleeve for next year!

And for those families giving it a go I really hope the solution is as easy at it sounds otherwise it could be a traumatic Chrissy. The family removing the dummies are actually throwing them away so the parents can't cave in -- a brave move indeed. My fingers are crossed.

And I'm wishing you all a very merry Christmas -- you might have a sleepless night ahead but those smiles will be worth it in the morning!

-- Natalie xx

photo credit: Joriel "Joz" Jimenez via photopin cc

Welcome to toddlerhood

I thought toddlerhood had begun when we put up safety gates throughout the house. But funnily enough many of those gates didn't last long - Stickybeak soon hated being confined to a room and besides he fairly quickly mastered getting up and down split levels.

So most of the gates are gone now, except those at the top and bottom of the staircase (they will be around for awhile methinks, we have an old terrace with ridiculously steep stairs).

Fast forward a few months and his coordination and curiosity have come along in leaps and bounds. And I have realised those 'c' words together mark the beginning of toddlerhood and not the actual toddling like you might expect.

Stickybeak can now not only run from room to room but can also open drawers, pull open cupboard doors and can empty a book shelf in record time (toddler Olympics anyone?).

After walking into a room too many times to discover the floor covered in items that were once tucked away we realised we needed drawer and door fasteners.

So now our house is in full lock down. And THIS is what tells me we have entered toddlerhood. (The tantrums were a bit of a giveaway too).

-- Natalie

If you can't say something nice...

Walking to the park this morning I was trailing behind two new parents who were out with their baby and their grandmother. The mum was carrying the young bub in the ergobaby carrier and was the very picture of health and happiness.

Just as I was admiring how at ease and capable she looked (and wistfully remembering the ergobaby days) the grandmother, who I think was her mother-in-law, turned to her and said, "You won't be able to do that much longer."

And my heart sank.

I have often been on the receiving end of a statement like that and it sucks. Yes it's fairly mild as criticisms go but as a new parent it stings and it further reinforces the feeling that you are being judged. The mum might have looked capable but I bet inside all she really needed to hear was something positive and encouraging. Why do so many older mums/grandmothers forget that?

Those first few months are tough. Just getting out of the house by a reasonable hour is difficult and every outing comes with much pre-planning and troubleshooting (drive or walk, how close is parking, pram or carrier, will there be stairs, etc etc). Now throw in an outing with your mother-in-law where your new-found and unformed parenting skills are up for scrutiny and it's a challenge.

I imagine for the grandmother that baby carriers are an odd sight but instead of saying "how wonderful that you can carry the baby that way" or "that's a nifty device, the baby isn't too heavy for you is he?", or something of the like, which would have displayed interest and caring and possibly opened up a conversation, she instead only offered negativity.

As for the response, determined to keep it upbeat the mum responded: "Then I guess we'll use the backpack."

And that shut the MIL up.

-- Natalie

Cat and Toddlers

Source: kanaes.com via What Mummy Did on Pinterest

Teaching Moment: Patting a Cat

Before I had my two little boys I had my 'other two boys'.

My rather large boys cats answer mostly to Argo and Finlay - but mainly they answer to the sound of biscuits hitting their food bowl.

Argo is very handsome and refuses to believe he is indeed a cat. Finlay is secretly a grumpy old man in a grey fur coat who has an aversion to anyone under 2 foot. They were our 'babies' and as such they were constantly showered with love and affection, especially from GeekDad, who at the time thought they could do no wrong.

And then we did the unthinkable we brought home another baby to add to our family. And everything changed.

CheekyMonkey consumed every hour of our day in those first few months; there was simply no time for cuddles on the couch, sleeping late on our bed or helping GeekDad play his favourite game into the wee hours of the morning. It was offical they were now 'persona no gratis'.

They declared war making it quite clear they would not accept this new title without a good fight. They proceeded to adopt their own version of torture sleep deprivation tactics by crying and scratching our bedroom door insessantly throughout the night asking for more food, water, love or my personal favourite because they could.

Undeterred we stayed strong (to this day I'm not sure how, as we were extremely sleep deprived) but eventually the cats realised the following:

a) CheekyMonkey was a permanent guest not on loan,

b) Mum and Dad would not be relenting anytime soon to the No Bed Rule and

c) The No Bed Rule also meant the No Couch Rule if CheekyMonkey was couch bound.

And lets face it in the first months I'm pretty sure I spent 90% of the time on the couch, if not breastfeeding them pumping away in the vain hope my milk supply would increase. Which only left the carpet or the top of the TV (we still had the biggest CRT TV Monitor back then) as a place to lick their wounded souls and shoot me the occasional death stare. I say 'me', because they were relunctant to make GeekDad the bad guy just yet.

They soon cottoned on to that fact that if I was up in the wee hours feeding CheekyMonkey they too could have a midnight feed if they limited the pestering to a bare minimum. I must give them credit for waiting until I had enhaled enough chocolate to feed a small army before assaulting me as I made my way back to bed.

In those first few months the cats kept a respectful distance from CheekyMonkey wary of the little being who made alot of noise.

But as our son began to spend more time on the floor I knew the time had come for the entire family to commit to a healthy relationship of tolerance and respect.*

The first step required CheekyMonkey and the cats acknowledging the others existance

And so let the lessons commence!

Step 1. Slowly approach the cat and offer your hand up for a sniff.

Step 2. Once the cat sniffs your hand you can go in for a pat.

As this was not recorded for posterity lets try and capture the spirit of how this step recently unfolded as DreamBaby learns to pat Argo.

Me: "Bubs be gentle"

"GENTLE......GENNNNNTTTTTTTLLLLLLLE"

DreamBaby:  Grabs a handful of fur a little too tightly.

Argo the Cat: "MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"

DreamBaby:  "BWAHH BWAHH BWAHHHHHH"

Me:  "Ohhhhhhh ......... (insert your favourite swear word and you get the picture)"

Teaching your baby to pat gently and not grab a fistful of fur is one thing but teaching your toddler head butting may not be the best way to get your cats attentions will no doubt fall on deaf ears.

Because really who wouldn't want to rumble with an 8 kilo grey fuzzy ball of fluff if you had the chance.

-- Hannah

CheekyMonkey snapped in his new Batman T-shirt

Batman has entered the building.

CheekMonkey proudly showing his new Batman T-shirt created by yours truly.

Chocolate Sugar Free Pikelets

At the beginning of this year I committed to radically reducing the processed sugar in my diet, which meant my love affair with some desserts were shelved but never forgotten.

With Donna and Nigella no longer on standby I now grab my well thumbed copy of 'The Sweet Poison Quit Plan' by David Gillespie or peruse Sarah Wilson's 'I Quit Sugar Cookbook' when I crave something yummy.

Pikelets are a great option for morning tea, so I adapted the Pancake Recipe from David's book and the kids couldn't get enough.




Chocolate Sugar Free Pikelets

Ingredients

1 3/4 cups self-raising flour (I actually used Jimmy's Arta Flour, which I love)

1/4 cup of cacoa raw chocolate powder (you can use cocoa powder as well)

1/4 cup dextrose* (optional)

1 teaspoon baking powder

3 eggs, lightly beaten

1 1/2 cups of milk

1/2 teaspoon vanilla essence

50g butter, melted and cooled

Get Cooking
1. Sift dry ingredient's together in a bowl.
2. Mix wet ingredient's (except butter) together in a large jug.
3. Add dry ingredient's and butter to the jug and mix. Don't bother to stir it too much it can be lumpy.
4. Grab a frying pan (non stick if you have it) otherwise make sure you grease it well.
I find it's best to heat the fry-pan on high reducing it to medium heat to start cooking.
5. Pour the batter into the fry-pan to the size that makes your heart sing!
I use my 1/4 measuring cup to make sure my pikelets are kind of the same size.
6. Cook on one side until you see bubbles forming, then flip the pancakes to the other side to finish cooking.
7. Serve these with butter or with fresh fruit(bananas or berries) and fresh whipped cream.

Let me know how you get on.
Happy Cooking!
-- Hannah

*Dextrose
Yes this is a technically a 'sugar', and yes if you add this they are not technically 'Sugar Free'.
I've marked this optional as I don't always add the dextrose when making the pikelets as my kids usually eat these with some Fruit or Rice Malt Syrup. If their very lucky Sarah Wilson's Sugar Free Nutella.

Toys need love too

Stickybeak with Lizzie in happier times

Every night Stickybeak goes to bed with his toys - he has Lizzie the Lamb, Bill the Bear and Bunny, which is self explanatory. No, I guess we aren't that creative with toy names in this house.

Every night Stickybeak throws them out of his cot and on to the floor. Every night. Well, except for last night because he was so tired he went straight to sleep without doing the usual toy exodus ritual. Of course the first thing he did when we woke up was to throw his toys out of the cot and on to the floor.

He doesn't seem to want them back but at the same time he likes his toys. I have to say, I really don't get this game or understand my role in it. I'm obviously not about to be given the rules any time soon so I'm putting this behaviour into the 'babies are weird' category.

Do your babies do this too?

ps: seeing his toys abandoned on the floor makes me sad. I fear that soon I'll start putting them in my bed.

-- Natalie

When thoughts attack

In my post about managing The List - where I talked about the strain of being the sole person responsible for running three lives - I mentioned that I was trying to be kinder to myself. It's a work in progress and the good news is that it is getting better. For one, having Noisy Daddy look after Stickybeak every Monday has actually forced us to share the responsibilities for his care, whether it's cooking his food or taking him to the doctor, and that is frankly AMAZING.

But most of all it has involved doing a bit of mental rewiring. A few months ago I realised I had got myself into a very negative thought pattern and ever since I have been trying to claw my way out of it. It is a daily exercise. 

My biggest problem was obsessing over decisions. I would make a decision then I would spend hours questioning it over and over and over again. I was losing sleep and seriously stressing myself out. Sending Stickybeak to childcare was a big stressor. Even though we had clearly and rationally decided that it was the best thing to do I still let the guilt and fear get the better of me. While I was beating myself up over it I realised that Noisy Daddy wasn't - in his mind we had made a decision and that was that. He mentally checked that box whereas I mentally kept erasing and rechecking. Reading this article about stress on the Sydney Morning Herald and I see that there is a name for this: thought attack, which is very appropriate. And I'm kind of relieved that I'm not the only one who suffers from this.

Here is what I am doing to counter thought attack:

*I am trusting myself ... I know that I don't make decisions lightly, especially big ones like childcare, so once I have made a decision I need to trust that it is the right one. In the childcare situation I just had to let it go - I told myself that we have made the right decision for now and if we decide at some point that it isn't working then we will revisit it. Box = checked. What a load off my mind!! It has also helped me deal with the naysayers (yes, unfortunately they exist).

*No decisions at night ...  I read a study a little while ago that said people can only make a certain amount of decisions a day and that our ability to make good decisions gets progressively worse as the hours tick by. In my case I found that I was getting the most stressed at night, especially before bed. Now if something comes up at night that we need to make a decision on I put it off until morning. It's a little thing that has made a huge difference, not the least because we can get to bed earlier now without a major discussion causing a delay.

*By the same token, there is no more rethinking or obsessing at night ... Joss Whedon was right, the demons really do come out once the sun does down. If something seems slightly concerning in the daytime it will feel positively life threatening at 3am. Now if I wake up in the middle of the night I don't let my mind wander to anything serious. I tell myself that it just seems worse than it is and force myself to go to a happy place. (It usually involves Alexander Skarsgard ... was that too much information?)

*No more going solo ... Noisy Daddy is roped in on decisions, they are no longer purely my domain. He still has a tendency to defer to me when it comes to Stickybeak's care but I am putting the onus back on him. When he asks me what we should do I first ask him for his opinion. When should we try him on peanuts? I don't know, why don't you look it up and let me know. What cream should we put on that rash? What should we give him for lunch? etc etc etc. The questions are now evolving to "I'm going to give him an avocado sandwich for lunch, what do you think?" which is fantastic - we are in it together as we should be.

*Thinking positively ...  this is basic but one so easily forgotton. Parenting involves a lot of troubleshooting of potential problems which means you can easily find yourself always thinking in the negative. Yes if we go outside he might ...get sunburnt, be frightened by a dog, fall over on the bitumen ... or he might enjoy the sunshine, laugh at a frolicking poodle and learn how to navigate uneven surfaces. Sames goes for childcare, maybe he will have a toy snatched from him or get pushed over by a bigger kid, or maybe he will learn about sharing and enjoy the company of other children. Bad stuff happens but it most likely won't, sometimes I have to remind myself of this. 

This new approach is helping all facets of my life not just parenting. At work when I was thrown in the deep end on a task, instead of obsessing about it I gave myself some positive self-talk and it worked a treat. If only I had these strategies a lot sooner, like when I was 10, ha! 

And last but not least, I am being kind to myself. Not just by using the strategies outlined above but by giving myself a break when things don't go to plan. I can't control everything and if life isn't perfect it isn't necessarily my fault. Sh*t happens and you know what, I'm doing a good job and I bet you are too.

Kicking the 5am feed

With a little help from my friends we managed to kick the 5am breastfeed and life improved. Like a lot.

When Stickybeak was six months old this is what his night-time routine looked like:

7pm - bed
10.30pm - milk feed (bottle given by his daddy)
5am - breastfeed
7am - wake up

It looks pretty good doesn't it, well, in comparison to getting up every three hours! We did some hard yards getting to this point (by we I mainly mean me). We introduced the 10.30pm feed at around 4 months and it pushed the midnight feed back to 1.30am. Soon the 1.30 feed morphed with the 3.30am feed and then that got later and later until it got stuck at 5am. And that's where it stayed for a quite a while.

Surprisingly, it turns out that getting up at 5am is actually harder than 3am. It must have been the wrong time in my sleep cycle because once I woke up at five I couldn't get back to sleep again. Long after Stickybeak was back in the land of nod I was still tossing and turning and watching the clock count down to 7am.

I would have put up with this for a long time, because that's the kind of self-punishment we parents do, except I noticed that Stickybeak wasn't really that hungry at 5am - he would only feed on one side and even then he fell asleep in my arms almost immediately. My gut feeling was that he was just waking up out of habit and I was basically serving as a sleep aid. It started to feel very not worth it. We needed to break the habit but how?

I brought this up with my friends and they gave me some great advice:

Tip 1 - offer him water rather than milk
Tip 2 - (this is the really important one) get daddy to do it because if I get up he would expect milk
Tip 3 - be prepared for a little crying
Tip 4 - if possible, sleep somewhere else

So on the Australia Day weekend when Stickybeak was 7 months old We decided to give it a shot - I slept in the spare room and left Noisy Daddy bravely armed with a sippy cup of water. To be honest I expected it to go badly, I expected him to reject the water and to cry and cry and cry ... and I expected Stickybeak to do the same (ha!).

Seriously, I thought Noisy Daddy would have to come and wake me sometime around 5.30am. To my surprise I woke up at 8am having enjoyed my first night of sleeping through in what felt like a long long time. I felt fantastic. There was this wonderful sensation that seemed to start from my toes which spread a warm wash of contentment throughout my body. I was relaxed, limber, ready to start the day. I think I was even happy. Wow, this is what well rested feels like (oh how I had missed you!).

Then of course I remembered I had a baby, one who wasn't in the same room as me, and I panicked. Why hadn't I heard from them? What if something happened? Are they alive? Eek!! And then I heard a happy squeal coming from the kitchen. Noisy Daddy was feeding Stickybeak his weetbix and he was happy as a clam (Stickybeak that is, although ND was pretty chuffed too). It turns out that without me in the room Stickybeak slept through the night. Great ... sort of. Did he actually sleep through or did he wake up but ND didn't hear him stir? Who knows.

We tried it again the next night. Same story. And the next night. Same again. I moved back into the bedroom on the fourth night, very warily I should add. We still had the sippy cup of water and the plan was that ND would tend to him if he woke -- and can I just say, this alone made the exercise worth it. No longer being the one to get up was a big bonus for me. Like huge. Enormous. Enormously huge. I can't tell you how good that was.

Anyway ... we even switched sides in the bed so that I was further away from the cot. Amazingly he didn't wake up at 5am (I still did but that's another story). He kept it up for a week before I was willing to believe that this was now the new norm.

In the next couple of months he woke up at 5am maybe three times and two of those times he took a sip of water and a cuddle from his daddy and went back to sleep. The other time he was teething so I'm not counting that one.

We have been in this new routine for five months now. I actually wanted to write this post months ago but I too afraid that it would jinx it, like the world would smite me for getting some extra sleep. Crazy I know but that is how precious sleep is.

-- Natalie

*

ps I was reluctant at first to give up the 5am feed because it was the only time that Stickybeak fell asleep in my arms and that part was really nice. Noisy Daddy still gets that with the 10.30pm feed and I don't think he wants to give it up either.

pps thank you to Hannah, Julia and Kylie for your awesome advice x

ppps I may have slightly exaggerated that whole well-rested part but when you're in the desert water tastes pretty damn good.

Memory not found

So this happened the other day:

Me: "What was that thing that you had a go at me about for always forgetting?"

Noisy Daddy: "You forget everything!!" 

And it's true, I do. Baby brain is still in full swing around here and Stickybeak is just about to turn 1. The really sucky thing is that I'm not even being choosy about what I forget - it's one thing to forget to do a chore it's another to forget that awesome idea I had for a birthday gift for myself.

I guess at some point the memory hits overload, right now it feels like mine is screaming "At Full Capacity". There is just too much stuff to keep track of and not enough time to do everything (and not enough people to do it). Plus I'm tired. Plus my hormones are still elevated (or something). Plus I am trying to be kind to myself which means letting some stuff go.

In the book I Don't Know How She Does It the main character Kate Reddy talks about The List - it's a mental list that she frequently runs through which contains all of the stuff that she has to remember to do, or at least all of the stuff that she has remembered that she has to remember to do. It is spot on. Here is my list right now, if of course memory serves correct:

buy packet mix for birthday cake, visit cake shop for special icing colour, birthday candle(!!), figure out vegetarian party food option, confirm bad weather backup location, buy Stickybeak a present, sort out childcare fee schedule, pay for childcare birthday cake, rsvp to engagement party, buy card and gift(!!), check when swimming term ends, replace gas bottle, buy brother-in-law birthday gift, find book club book (I'm pretty sure we already own it), read book(!!), buy cat biscuits, cancel Quickflix, choose restaurant for Noisy Daddy's birthday dinner, confirm babysitting arrangements, sort out baby clothes that are now too small, pick up parcel from post office, offer baby stuff to my pregnant friends, sell ski boots, plan ski holiday, find cleaner, clean fridge (strawberry jam spill, ugh), ring council to remove hard rubbish, write to govt to oppose neighborhood development, apply for childcare rebate, get Stickybeak a passport photo ... and on and on and on...

This doesn't include my return-to-work arrangements (wardrobe, childcare pickups, etc), general household cleaning (clean duplo bin, remove cat vomit stain, replace litter, etc), household organising (grocery shopping, dinners, clothes washing, etc) and of course writing and co-managing this blog (a lot of work but essential for mental health).

There is also a whole separate list for Stickybeak's development  - book vaccination (OMG the cats! book vaccination for them, worm them!), ensure his meals have variety, what food hasn't he tried, check when to trial reaction to egg and nuts, should we move to toddler formula, maybe milk, what kind of milk, is he ready for a different teat flow, how about a different sippy cup, practice walking, looks up words to that nursery rhyme he liked ... all of this and more runs on in the back of my mind.

How do people stay on top of all of this??

In the book Kate's main problem is that she is working full time and overtime but also is in charge of The List. Everything concerning the children and the family is still all of her domain to keep track of and organise. This is partly my problem too, for eg I would love to be relieved of all birthday duties this year including coming up with gift ideas for myself, but aside from that never happening I am also sure Noisy Daddy has a megalist all of his own. The scary thing is that I imagine it is only going to get worse when I go back to work. Hopefully our new Daddy Day Care arrangement will see some of the items on my list transfer to a mental shared list so when I inevitably forget there is a chance that he will remember.

But for now is it any wonder that I forget everything? I am not a robot but if I was it would most certainly say "system overload, forcing shut down".

Next time Noisy Daddy complains about me forgetting something I will tell him to log a complaint with tech support. Because as I said I am learning to be kind to myself about this and unfortunately everyone around me will be forced to be kind to me too (don't judge me if I do in fact forget to buy Stickybeak a birthday candle or if it rains and you find yourself squashed up against a relative in my cramped, messy house which has a cat vomit stain on the rug).

And if you do come over, whatever you do, don't open the fridge door.

-- Natalie

The Essential Guide to Nudie Runs

DreamBaby dreaming of his first Nudie Run

DreamBaby decided last week he was of age, he too could join in the 'Nudie Run' with his older brother.

I had no objections when I witnessed such joy last week when he giggled and chased CheekyMonkey up and down the hallway.

Unfortunately for me, it appears no one had mentioned to DreamBaby with all this new found freedom, there still needs to be a few guidelines or should we say:

'The Do's and Don'ts of Nudie Runs'.

Rule 1: Do Not Pee 

Rule 2: Do Not Poo

Rule 3: Adhere to Rule 1 and 2.

I had it on good authority from GeekDad that DreamBaby was up to the task now that he can walk and run with the best of them.

So lets just say tonight DreamBaby made up his own set of Rules.

Rule 1: Hide from Mummy

Rule 2: Ride my toy car nude

Rule 3: Poop on the toy car whilst demounting to ensure maximum poop coverage.

For a split second I did think I was being 'Punked' by Ashton Kutchner as I chased not one but two nude boys down the hallway. My saving grace was to scramble for baby wipes and yell to CheekyMonkey to stay clear of the poo as I disarmed his brother from further damage.

I know this will not be the last time I encounter poop in strange places.

Did I happen to mention CheekyMonkey's recent foray of christening our fireplace did I?

No?

Hmm let's save that for another post shall we.

Hence, from this day forth in preparation of all future 'Nudie Runs', you will now find baby wipes strategically placed in every room. This will be especially handy if DreamBaby decides his 'Rules' are the 'New Rules'.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who gets to have this much fun.

Share your joy and leave me a comment or twenty....

-- Hannah

Daddy day care

Let's hear it for the boys ... What To Expect When You're Expecting.

Daddy day care began in our house today. Noisy Daddy has dropped back to four days a week at work so he can mind Stickybeak on Mondays. He got his own nappy bag to mark the occasion and he is quite chuffed about it.

I'm really proud of him for doing this and I think he and Stickybeak will have a great time together. Do a lot of dads do this? I can think of a few men that I know personally who have shifted to part-time hours so that they can spend more time with their children and I hope that you know some too.

One of the lovely things about having a baby was having the world of new dads open up to me - they are everywhere, loving and enjoying their babies at the swimming pool, at the playground, in the supermarket aisle and on Facebook. I love that we live in an era where parenting is shared, where dads change nappies in the middle of the night, give bottles, make dinners, and take control of bath time.

Hopefully Noisy Daddy will one day write us a post on his stay-at-home adventures with Stickybeak but for now here are a few posts by some great dads that I have enjoyed recently:

Ben Pobjie - To my daughters

Jason Seiden - One dad's simple dream

Nigel Marsh (TED talk) - How to make work-life balance work

Dan Pearce - You just broke your child, congratulations

Philip Barker - PND & blokes: A how-not-to-guide

How to be a Dad -- all of it really, they're awesome.

Are there any dad blogs or posts that have stuck with you?

-- Natalie

Hey Stickybeak, watcha looking at?

A little while ago we noticed that Stickybeak has an eye for the ladies. At first we laughed it off, we obviously were just imagining it and besides he is too young, he isn't even one yet! But ... well, it kept happening.

At a cafe if a pretty waitress walks past he swings his head around to watch. If he manages to catch her eye (and he usually does) then he gives her a special smile. That's how he hooks them in. Next thing you know she is coming over to the table and telling him how gorgeous he is, what beautiful eyes he has, and those dimples! He laps it up - every single time.

Now the thing about Sydney is that most of the waitresses are young and pretty but even among such a group he still seems to have an eye for the exceptionally attractive - no wonder his daddy likes to take him to cafes! And it extends beyond the coffee crowd; we've noticed that a cute little girl in the playground will also stop him in his tracks (see photo above). Maybe it's because little girls wear such bright, pretty clothes ... or maybe he just likes the laydeez (said in my best fake sleazy voice).

At daycare I'm told one of little girls there has adopted Stickybeak, she frequently is by his side and looks out for him in the playground. When I went to collect him the other day she was trying to fix his jumper - his arm was lost in the sleeve - and when I picked him up to take him home she gave me a look that was a combination of crushed and accusing. Poor thing, I don't think this was her doing, I reckon he hooked her in too!

I think it's time to face facts: my baby is a playa. Of course Noisy Daddy couldn't be more proud.

Have you noticed this sort of behaviour with your little one?

-- Natalie

Crazy? Guilty as charged

"Oh my god, these people are nuts".

I went hunting for my Kindle charger this morning. I looked on the floor where all of our other chargers are plugged in (iPhone charger, telephone charger, baby monitor charger, etc). Anyway, no Kindle charger. 

I check the dining table, no charger, then I check the bench, also no charger. Then I spot it, in the vase on the bench tangled in with the stems of the paper flowers. I tell Noisy Daddy: "I found it in the vase". He replies defensively: "Well it was on the floor". Yes, because that makes perfect sense. This is what happens when two people with two very different and, ahem, somewhat unconventional, filing systems live together. 

Poor Stickybeak, he is going to have to learn to navigate this crazy on a daily basis.

Meet the mummies

Friends for more than a decade, as luck would have it Hannah and Natalie found themselves on maternity leave at the same time. Hannah with two littlies and Natalie with one. All boys.

Considering they have been work mates and flatmates they decided it was high time they took their friendship to the next level and became blog mates, a place where their work and home lives collide. Here at What Mummy Did Hannah and Natalie share the highs and lows of parenthood.

Of course all good things come to end, and so it is with maternity leave. Thankfully life can't always be about solids and sleep routines so in their spare time they go to work, actual paying work, just for funsies. Natalie is the entertainment editor for SMH online and she tweets at @baconchips; Hannah is online trafficking/marketing/extraordinaire for tech publisher IDG and can be found at @theonlyhanban.

Meet the bubbies

We took the kidlings along to check out the opening of a new Ikea in our area. There was promise of free meatballs and an Abba tribute band. We got neither of these things but we did get a pic of our boys together which was made into a mock Ikea catalogue cover.
Can you believe that in an age where we all have digital cameras on our phones it took a trip to Ikea to make a group shot happen? Sad but true.

Here are, in order of appearance, Hannah's Dream Baby and Cheeky Monkey, and the little guy on the end is Natalie's Stickybeak.

Our Boys

Meet the hubbies

Our partners in crime, our right-hand men, our knights in shining armour. Without them we would be too elbow-deep in dirty nappies to ever have time to update this blog. Actually, without them we most likely would be still single, childless, still living together drinking too much wine, watching too much TV and eating too much chocolate. Sounds hideous doesn't it? ;)
They are both a little bit shy and prefer to remain anonymous on this blog but rest assured they are working hard in the background.

Daddy Day Care

On the left is Hannah's hubby Geek Dad and on the right is Natalie's partner Noisy Daddy. Both highly deserving of their online monikers, but more on that later.

So there you have it - the team. We would love to hear about your family, so join us and let's all share the experience together. As they say, crazy shared is .... well even more crazy! And what is not to love about that?

Currently loving: Bonds Zip Wondersuit

 Zip = Awesome

I just want to say, how good are zips? I probably always thought they were pretty good but since having a baby I have upped them to awesome status. Not enough baby clothes come with zips. Buttons thankfully are a thing of the past but those bloody press studs still reign supreme. After months, MONTHS, of struggling to do up a dozen press studs multiple times a day it was time to call it quits. We gradually phased them out, first they moved just to night times but once Stickybeak could sit up we gave up on them altogether.

But I am partial to a onesie (Noisy Daddy is too, he keeps saying he wants one for himself and I think he might be serious) they are pretty cute and are perfect for winter. I spotted the Bonds Zip Wondersuit during a recent trip to Big W and I couldn't resist. Turns out it is perfect, easy to do up (the zip is already connected), the fabric is thick and fluffy and he looks cute as a button.

I'm about to buy some more and just noticed that Bonds has a special deal on them at the moment, two for $30. The Dymples brand, which is also available at Big W, has zip onesies too that come in newborn sizes. Fabulous! All hail the zip I say!

Dimply goodness

I wonder what it is about dimples that makes us love them so much. They are just indentations in the skin, if anything they are an imperfection. But I love them, especially on babies - who doesn't enjoy seeing a dimply, chubby baby?

One out of two ain't bad either; what Stickybeak lacked in the chubba department he has more than made up for with his dimples. Aside from the dimples that appear on his cheeks when he smiles -- which is utterly charming if I do say so myself -- he also has others in quite unexpected places. My favourite at the moment are the dimples on his hands where his knuckles should be. Sooooooo cute.

Here they are in all their glory, the little fingers and the crease between the hand and wrist are pretty cute too :)



One day the knuckles will grow bigger and those dimples will disappear so I am taking this moment to appreciate them while they last.

Do you have a thing for the knuckle dimples too? Any idea how long they last?

-- Natalie

Making a heel of myself

Trying flats on for size. photo credit: photo pin cc

When Stickybeak was in daycare the other day I decided to use my free time to do something that I hadn't indulged in for a long time -- I got out my high heels.

Nothing fancy, just my pair of everyday runaround heels that I pretty much wore to death before I had a baby. They are a moderate height (I gave up the skyscrapers long before the super skyscrapers became the fashion du jour) and I thought they were a good choice to get me reacquainted with my more feminine self.

What a mistake that turned out to be. Walking in them no longer felt natural and more than that, I felt like a fraud. It reminded me of the times when I would steal into my mother's closet, put on her heels and walk around in circles on the foyer tiles to get the clacking sound. Thirty years later I was a little girl playing at being a woman all over again except without the fun. The balls of my feet soon started to ache and the act of walking was all a bit too hard. I had ducked up the shops to just get a few items and I soon pared back my list of things to do because it required walking too far. How limiting.

So it wasn't quite the boost to my self image that I imagined. Rather than feeling glamorous and together instead I felt like mutton dressed up as lamb. How did it come to this? Before baby I wore heels to work nearly everyday, I even clung on to a low heel for the first few months of my pregnancy until lower back pain made me give them up (now all of the maternity-wear ads of women in their last trimester wearing enormously high heels really shit me).

I'm going back to work in a few weeks and I realise it won't be as simple as digging out my old work wardrobe. Flat shoes will be bought (well, flattish) and pants will be taken up. No doubt heels will slowly creep back into my life but for now I appreciate that they feel as ridiculous as they are (and they are). It also makes these images all the more farcical:

Victoria Beckham carrying baby Harper in New York. Yikes. (Zimbio)

An ad for a maternity dress, which is like most ads for maternity clothes.

An ad for the Mountain Buggy Swift pram, it's oh so realistic. 

Have you had to give up on heels too?

-- Natalie

And some times I dream of running away....

When the clocks went back an hour marking the end of Day Light Savings recently I was so excited about gaining an extra hour of sleep I made the rookie mistake of staying up way too late. Instead of enjoying that extra hour tucked up in bed, GeekDad and I tended to one sick baby and one distraught toddler by playing musical chairs beds.

DreamBaby upchucked his dinner yet again just after midnight (thanks to a nasty gastro/ear/chest infection combo) and was promptly relocated to the portacot in the lounge room and I had the pleasure of sleeping next to him on our spare single mattress. 'Mattress' is quite frankly too nice a word for this 'foam number' it barely takes the edge off the floor, but just like camping some padding is better than nothing.

After trying to get comfortable and enter the dream zone, CheekyMonkey decided he needed to join the party in the living room. In the space of an hour, I moved from the foam mattress, to my bed, back again to the foam mattress to finally end up in my bed with CheekyMonkey in tow (GeekDad was sent packing to the 'foam number' to placate DreamBaby).

I think it was close to 3am when I finally went to sleep and I remember thinking and praying the kids would sleep late.  The joke was on me when they started the day at 7am.

Bleary eyed and one coffee in I kept thinking it would have been nice having an extra hour up my sleeve to help me make a dent in my current to-do list. Did I mention this list exists only in my head, yeap its all tucked nicely away for easy access. Unfortunately much to my husband's despair there is no way to download a copy in any format for him to access. I'm still hoping my husband will one day magically acquire mind reading skills!

So I was delighted when I stumbled across the Real Simple: Women & Time Chart App, you can choose to create a chart for 'A Typical Day', 'A Typical Weekend Day', 'What Others Think You Do All Day' and 'Your Fantasy Day'. One flaw was it kept insisting I keep to a 24 hr day, I mean really, have they not heard of multitasking?

A typical day at work vs with kids

It was very easy to do fill in my 'Typical Days', check out my images above, but when it came to creating 'My Fantasy Day' - I blanked.

If I'm lucky once a weekend I get a few hours to spend sans children and its usually spent catching up with one of my girlfriends, maybe a pedicure or a trip to the hairdresser to tame my unruly curls into submission. But its a rare occasion when I don't call/email/text to check on the kids when they are not in my line of vision or earshot.

Becoming a mother is everything I dreamed of and more, I just didn't fathom the mental frustration in not achieving all I want to in a day. I have days when I feel like superwoman and everything is on track and then there are the unspeakable days, days which drive me to despair!

Its these days when I know exactly what 'My Fantasy Day Chart' would say, 'Í ran away today, I'll be back tomorrow'.

-- Hannah

Babies aren't accessories

Some people think that January Jones taking placenta pills is weird, others think Alicia Silverstone pre-chewing her baby's food is weird, and I have even had some people tell me that they think breastfeeding is weird.

For the record I think none of the above is particularly odd. Except for breastfeeding, I have to concede that is a little weird, but still it's awesome. Way more awesome than weird.

The one thing that does sit firmly in the weird category for me though is the term "baby wearing". That's wearing, not weaning (very different). And unlike how it sounds -- which to me is a tad psychopathic -- it actually refers to holding your baby in a carrier such as a Bjorn or sling. I first came across it when we bought the US brand Ergobaby carrier which came with an instruction DVD (those things are complicated!). On it were video testimonials of happy customers talking about how much they love to "wear their babies". In a word: Creeeeeeeepy!

Since then I've come across it a lot on US websites and blogs but disturbingly I have also seen it on Australian websites. And to that I say, please please please let's not start using that term here. There are many fabulous things that we should import from the US -- pulled pork sandwiches, HBO, and cinnamon bun dough in a can come to mind -- but this phrase isn't one of them.

Which leads me to this: babies aren't accessories. We don't wear them. They are human beings (albeit little ones) that we can cuddle, hold, carry and cradle. As cute as they are they do not complete an outfit and will not land anyone on a best-dressed list. So I urge you all to hold your babies in a carrier, because that too is awesome, but to never ever wear them. That's just weird.

As a demonstration, here is a pic of Noisy Daddy wearing carrying Stickybeak.

-- Natalie

Look at those matching dimples, too cute!!