Tuesday 25 October 2011

I want a 'do over'

Can you feel it?
 
C'mon you have to feel it?

I can see you're clueless and have no idea what I'm talking about. No worries, let me enlighten you

Christmas is coming..........

yes people Christmas!
Ok slightly melodramatic on my part but when I woke up this morning and realised my youngest was now 8 mths old today, it could only mean one thing - Christmas morning was only 2 months away.

I'd seen some signs in the supermarket you know a section or two of tinsel, paper and the like, hell I had even clocked the towering Christamas trees for sale at Costco and simply thought 'oh how cute' not 'omg batman'. [Ok a little PG 13 but I'm trying to cut down on my potty mouth]
 
But I now have to admit I've been in denial about this year's Christmas.

de·ni·al/diˈnīəl/
1.The action of declaring something to be untrue: "she shook her head in denial".
2.The refusal of something requested or desired.

Let me tell you upfront I love Christmas, I adore shopping for just the right presents, wrapping them and placing them under a 'real' tree as the lights flash on and off day and night.
 
But last year was a fizzer.
 
Geek dad was overseas working for 3 months and I was left to hold down the fort. I was heavily pregnant, working 5 days a week with a toddler who was not coping sans daddy and I was surviving on chicken noodles and canned tuna for dinner.

I had token decorations in the house, I couldn't bear to make my annual fruit mince pies blaming pregnancy and the humidity and I was not even tempted to fill up the stockings I had attached to the fireplace. My saving grace was my toddler cheeky monkey was too young to appreciate the fuss that is Christmas.
 
Christmas Day finally arrived and it was a very, very long day.
 
Cheeky monkey and I raced around the city from one engagement to the next; birthday cake for Em at Bondi Beach for breakfast, stealing a kiss from my 2 day old baby niece, eating mum's overcooked turkey, to marvelling at my friends courage after having lost her baby sister to cancer hours after giving birth to her much loved baby boy 6 weeks early.
   
By the time we got home I had a severe headache and all I wanted to do was collapse into bed. But my little boy had other ideas, namely throwing up all over me, his cot and bedroom floor. After the clean up I was thankful he was so exhausted he slept until morning.
 
So who wouldn't want a 'do over'?

I'm talking a real tree, full to overflowing stockings, mince pies, handmade decorations, countless presents, smiles from all my boys and if the Gods are on my side the temperature will be in the mid 20's!

 
There are no guarantees this year will be a successfull one but god damm it I will try my darndest.

What plans do you have for Christmas?

-- Hannah

Monday 10 October 2011

Hello baby, bye bye brain

Before I was pregnant I was warned about baby brain but part of me didn't really believe it. Then I got pregnant. After I surfaced from the first three months of extreme tiredness it became apparent that the fact that my memory had gone walkabout wasn't just a fatigue thing. It seems that in order to make a baby's brain your own needs to take a holiday.

Here was a typical scenario of mine while preggers, but especially in the last trimester:
I walk into the kitchen, see my medical notes and remember that I need to make a doctor's appointment. Realise I left the phone in the bedroom, I trudge up the stairs to go get it (not an easy task with an enormous belly). Get to the top and am so exhausted I forget why I came upstairs. Walk into study hoping it will jog my memory. Nope. Walk into bathroom, see toilet - oh goodie, I need to go. Think that must have been why I walked upstairs, so I go back downstairs. Sit on couch and stare into space for a while. Walk into kitchen for a snack and see my medical notes and remember that I need to ... oooooh.

REPEAT.

In the medical world it seems the jury is still out on whether baby brain actually exists. One website I read had a doctor (male) musing that women probably suffer forgetfulness during pregnancy because they are so focused on the baby that they can't think of anything else. I like to think we women are a bit more complicated than that, although towards the end of my pregnancy it really was hard to think about anything else.

I wasn't the only one that needed convincing that baby brain was an actual thing, my partner also had some doubts. He expressed this by being upset when I buggered up simple tasks and, you know, forgot everything all the time. But I realised he had gotten on board when I went to the shops and forgot the one thing he wanted and he wasn't mad -- by then he was used to it.

Here are things that happened to me because of baby brain:
  • Dr tells me important things about me and my baby's health. When I call mum five minutes after the appointment I struggle to remember the details. (btw, this is why my partner came to most of my appointments, I recommend outsourcing a memory where possible!)  
  • I would frequently find myself standing in a room and couldn't remember why I was there.  
  • I would call a friend and forget why I rang. Have a lovely chat and hang up. Remember three hours later that important question I had. REPEAT.  
  • My packed lunch for work had a habit of staying on the kitchen bench. And on the days I remembered to take it, I would forget and buy lunch anyway.  
  • I found myself walking back into shops, cafes, etc to retrieve my jacket, umbrella, wallet ... you get the picture.
But it could be worse, a friend of mine thought her car had been stolen. It turned out she left it at the park FOR THREE DAYS.

By the end of my pregnancy, having lost total confidence in my brain, I was writing everything down, and I got a lot of understanding smiles from midwives and receptionists. I take that to mean that a lot of pregnant women are like that and not that they thought I was especially daft.

The good news is that baby brain isn't quite as bad once the baby arrives. I don't do much spacing out on the couch anymore (who has the time?) and I no longer need a chaperone to doctor appointments (although I would still like one). But I went to the shops today only needing two things. I didn't write them down because they were only two things and I can remember that. Got home from shops with three items, none of which are either of those two things. And even now I can remember I was meant to get bread but can't for the life of me recall what the other thing was. I guess my list-making days aren't over yet...

What silly things has baby brain made you do?
--Natalie.